


Countdown

by Stripe



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Domestic Fluff, F/M, Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-20
Updated: 2015-07-20
Packaged: 2018-04-10 08:39:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4385033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stripe/pseuds/Stripe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Dave,” she tells him. “I’m pregnant.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Countdown

**Author's Note:**

> Written for DaveJade week, and [originally posted on tumblr](http://tehstripe.tumblr.com/post/121556980784/sooo-its-davejade-week-and-i-wanted-to-produce-at)!

**nine.**

“Dave,” she tells him. “I’m pregnant.”

Dave stares at her long and hard, squinting his eyes at her as though this will help his understanding. He clears out one ear with his pinky then asks - “OK, run that one by me again would you? Because I swear I heard you say something that’s like strictly speaking impossible.”

Jade rolls her eyes. “I’m pregnant,” she tells him again, speaking slower so that each syllable is stressed.

Dave squints harder. “OK, but. Birth control. We were definitely using that, I wasn’t just rolling plastic onto my dick to-”

“Birth control fails sometimes! Do you want me to cite statistics?”

“No. Uh. Yeah, no, I’m good.” He runs a hand through his hair, his bangs sticking up a little bit after. “So. What do we do?”

“What do you want to do?”

“It’s your uterus,” Dave points out. “Like, isn’t there a whole thing about how I shouldn’t be dictating uterii if I don’t have one myself?”

“Well, yes, but you are not dictating what I do with mine! I just want… a consultation!” Jade bites her lip, beginning to twirl a strand of hair around her finger. “I was thinking of keeping it.”

Dave stares at her. “Okay.”

“I mean, we are both financially stable, we have an extra room that we could turn into a nursery, and maybe twenty-four is a bit young to get started on babies, but I think-”

“I said okay,” Dave reiterates. “If you want to do it, then we can do it.”

“And you are sure? One hundred percent, absolutely sure?”

Dave shrugs, as though they’re discussing the weather. “Yeah. We got, what. Eight, nine months to get everything straight? That’s plenty of time.”

**eight.**

It’s a Saturday morning, and Jade’s up watching cartoons, cocooned under some blankets on the couch. Dave sits next to her, watching too, but they’re playing reruns today so he lets his mind wander.

“What’re you thinking for names?” he asks, talking over a commercial.

“For what?” Jade asks. “The baby?”

“Yeah.”

“We don’t even know the sex yet. Or how many there will be!”

“So?” Dave shifts over so that he’s leaning against Jade, pressing all of his weight against her. “I’m thinking Pooplord420 personally. If it’s twins, then the other can be Pooplord 421.”

“Dave!” Jade protests, but she’s laughing, hiding her mouth behind her blankets. “Anyways, I was thinking something gender neutral?”

“Sure. So Poopnoble420?”

Jade shakes her head, but she can’t stop smiling. “Yes, Dave. That was exactly what was wrong with Poop Lord. Now you have fixed it and it is the perfect name!”

“Glad we got that settled then.”

**seven.**

“It looks like a bean.”

“That is what fetuses look like, Dave.”

He holds the picture of the ultrasound up to the light and squints. “Still. Weird to think that you’ve got that thing growing inside of you. Making you hurl in the mornings and stuff. Like what’s it even doing, swimming around, churning up your stomach juices, making you upchuck because you smelled bacon?”

“That is not even close to how anatomy works, Dave!” Jade props her feet up on the couch leg, wiggling her toes to get his attention. She doesn’t even need to ask - he begins massaging her ankles right away. She lets out a sigh and sinks contentedly into the cushions. “Muuuuch better.”

“Well you know I live to please.” Dave’s lips quirk slightly. “And you know, if your breasts are feeling sore again, I can definitely hel-” He’s cut off with a pillow to the face, but Jade is laughing.

**six.**

Jade rests her hand over her just-there baby bump as she critically examines the dress in front of her. “This is… so boring!” She plucks at the fabric, scrunching her nose up. “Why is all of this clothing so boring?”

“What were you thinking maternity clothes would look like, Jade?” Dave asks, bent over their Target shopping cart. “Were you expecting tassles? If you want tassles, we can always go out and buy some, glue them on. Have you looking like a pregnant Vegas show girl.”

“I don’t want tassles! I just want… something other than flat colors like this! Floral designs or polka-dots or… Or at least more interesting colors. Anything but gray and this weird purple maroon color.” Jade lets out a groan that almost sounds like a growl. Dave straightens up.

“Woah, woah. It’s fine, you only have to wear these for like. Five months, tops. Unless you’d rather wander around naked.”

Jade scoffs. “I wish I could! But nooo, society had to decide that seeing totally normal body parts on people was super scandalous!”

“Well just putting this out here, but if you feel like waltzing around the house looking bare as a newborn baby’s butt, you won’t hear any complaints from me. In fact, I’d encourage it.”

Jade smiles at him. “Thanks, Dave. I appreciate it.”

“Anytime, babe.”

**five.**

“Jade, are you sure you should be doing the heavy lifting here. Like, you’ve got a mini-baby growing inside of you right now, I don’t think you need to be dragging a crib in all by yourself.”

Jade brushes some sweat from her brow, taking a moment to catch her breath. “That’s why we’re preparing the nursery now!” she reminds him. “That way I can help you do some of the work! I am not helpless just because I am pregnant, you know.”

“Yeah, yeah, I get it, you could pick up ten of me without breaking a sweat. Doesn’t change the fact that there’s more to lose if something goes wrong with you than there is me.” Dave gestures to the rocking chair that Jade had brought in a few minutes ago. “Now sit and get your old lady on for at least a few minutes. Humor me.”

Jade rolls her eyes but sits down, looking around the nursery with a critical eye. “You know, on second thought,” she says, “I don’t know about the wall color anymore, do you think we should repaint-”

“Nuh uh. You’re the one who picked out the lavender color. You’re stuck with that now.”

**four.**

“So we’re going to teach the kid to sword fight, right?”

“Dave, you are the worst at pillow talk!”

“OK, OK, but this is better than that time I went off about horse shit. Grant me that much.”

Jade sighs. “Granted! But anyways, it’s a better idea to teach the kid how to use a rifle. Guns are more modern weapons and will provide more protection than a sword will!”

“No way. Swords are objectively cooler.”

“Are not!”

“Are too.”

They eventually settle on “both,” but it takes them hours.

**three.**

Rose is staring at Jade’s baby bump with growing alarm, and Jade has to laugh, walking around the table full of presents to talk to her. “So? Are you ready to be an aunt yet?” she asks.

“I am fearful to think that Dave’s genetics will be passed on to the next generation,” Rose replies, looking up at Jade’s face. “I can’t imagine doing this. Allowing my body to go into chaos for the better part of a year, just to subjugate myself to feeding and caring for another human being for the next eighteen years. It sounds like rather thankless work.”

“Well, it’s really not that bad so far, but I guess babies are not for everybody! Thank you for the Squiddle plushie by the way. I’m sure the baby will love it.”

“I should hope so. Best to corrupt them while they’re young, no?”

Jade laughs. “Just don’t let Dave hear you say that!”

**two.**

“Dave?” Jade whispers. It’s the middle of the night, but she can’t sleep.

“Mmrph?” he responds, face buried into a pillow.

“Do you think we’ll be good parents?”

Dave is quiet for a white. “You will, I think,” he says finally.

“I don’t know how to take care of a kid. I grew up on an island. I was raised by a dog! I don’t really have a good example to go off of.”

Jade hears the rustling of bed sheets and soon feels Dave’s arms wrapping around her, fingers trailing up and down her spine. “You manage to take care of me alright,” he says. “And I’m essentially a kid, just a good looking one with an awesome sense of humor and rapping abilities. Anyways, I think you’ll be fine. You’re nice and caring and smart and those are all good mom things I think. I’m going to be the fuck up if anything. Like, better to have no example than a bad one.”

Jade frowns at him. “Well. You are all of those things too. And you get along well with kids! Remember the trick-or-treaters last Halloween? I think you’re going to be a great dad.”

She can’t see real well in the dim lighting of their bedroom, but Jade thinks that she can just make out Dave smiling. “Just promise you’ll stop me if you see me threatening rooftop battles, OK?”

“I promise.”

**one.**

Jade’s hospital bag is packed. Included are: her toothbrush, a hairbrush, a couple of water bottles, the necessary IDs for the hospital, a worn copy of The Theory of Everything by Stephen Hawking, a white dog plushie that reminds her of Bec.

Dave places it by the front door so that it’s ready to go whenever it’s needed.

**zero.**

Jade starts labor anti-climatically. She’s watching a movie with Dave when she feels contractions, and then it’s off to the hospital.

Labor lasts for ten hours, and Dave is with her almost every step of the way, to the point where Jade has to stop him from following her into the bathroom. He holds her hands through the worst parts, when she’s screaming enough curses to turn a sailor’s ears red.

It ends with a baby - their baby - crying for the first time. Jade has never seen Dave look happier. 


End file.
